From a goose to ghost to Jimmy Pesto himself, who was Tina’s best boyfriend?
Tina has plenty of hobbies and interests, but boy chasing might be her favorite one. Of all her love interests many become her one episode flings. Some are simply just fantasy fan-fiction-esque relationships that only happen in her tween mind.
In Bob’s Burgers, Tina isn’t one for long-term boyfriends, but she did find many flings of different qualities and likelihoods of having a longer relationship with. So today, we’re ranking all of Tina’s love interests (that made it to the class of boyfriend) to find out who’s the worst of the bunch and the best.
Nathan was someone who only got into a relationship with Tina to use her to get to his goal. Nathan was just a creep, making him the worst of the bunch. His master plan was to impersonate Tina to get closer to a TV host’s dressing room. That sort of level of creep and manipulation isn’t fit for any sort of relationship. No one can blame Tina for ending things when she finds out. Ranked, he’s the worst of the bunch due to how creepy he was.
Jordan was another one-episode fling of Tina’s and the proverbial “Bad Boy.” He tags buildings with graffiti and gets in trouble often, leading her to follow his path to fulfill her desire to spice up her life. Constantly in trouble and potential future criminal is better than the previous entry, but he has a worse trait of being a prima donna – which we see when his tagging doesn’t go his way at the end of the episode. Jordan has other bad traits, such as being suspiciously boring and being a bad kisser. At the end of the episode, it’s revealed that even though he was seeing Tina, he was also seeing another girl. Add cheater onto the list and what you get is simply a bad person.
Jonas had no romantic feelings for Tina from the start. It was simply a beneficial one-sided relationship for the sake of burgers. This was something that was never going to last, especially if Tina got smart to his hidden agenda.
His only positive traits are his scooter and that he’s a musician (and both of those are arguable as positives!), otherwise he’s a user and liar. Even when they meet again later one he shows his true colors by forgetting her completely.
Tina’s relationship with Darryl is another case of Tina being used in a relationship. In this case, what he wanted was another girl. This girl does eventually show feelings for him, even though their relationship was staged. After an equally staged breakup, Tina starts to get her own feelings for Darryl, and breaks up his new relationship by admitting to the other girl that it was all staged. The two never hook up past that, and Tina never shows interest in Darryl again when they run into each other. Not a lot of chemistry here at all, and not a healthy relationship either.
Henry is a plotter and manipulator of many kids in the school, not just Tina. Overall, his relationship with Tina was very business-like and after she was tricked into dating him during a debate, the rest of their time together felt like they were still formally debating. Their relationship is another one-episode fling, unsurprisingly, seeing as Henry is overall a jerk to just about everyone. He ranks better because than many, though, as it was closer to an actual relationship than previous manipulators and creeps.
Brett’s short term relationship with Tina begins when he initially thinks he is dating a deceivingly more down to earth Tammy. Tammy, in reality, is just having Tina text him and put words in her mouth so she can date him, but this only works because he connects so strongly with Tina’s point of view.
Tina begins to have feelings for him as well, of course. Initially betrayed when he learns of Tammy’s deception, Brett takes his feeling out on Tina, but he eventually is convinced by Tammy to give it a shot with her. Unfortunately, this is not really picked up on further in future episodes.
Duncan is more of a quick fling as they aren’t seen as a couple in episodes after the one where he appeared, but he is a more positive one. This relationship was a fling that happened while she was dating Henry; the two who connect and get together through the debating team. Even though the relationship is generally positive and he doesn’t have any manipulative or abusive behaviors, it isn’t shown how the relationship ends (or if it ends). Ranked, it’s definitely one of the better ones as we see Tina still have interest in him later on.
This relationship is basically a Cinderella story, where Tina falls in love at first (partial) sight, and tries to find Josh using a fallen off bandaid. She eventually finds him again where she first saw him at the dairy fridge, essentially never needing the gross band-aid to begin with. After that, they share a kiss in the episode but you don’t hear more from them until later. The eventually reconnect where she finds out he is a ballerina. He eventually asks her on a date to his school dance which causes Jimmy to compete with him to take Tina out on a date. The two end in a final dance-off where Tina suggests they both date her, causing Josh to storm off being insulted because he wanted Tina for himself.
Jimmy Pesto Jr.<h4
Jimmy is the legacy crush on this list going as far back as season 1 of Bob’s Burgers for Tina. Despite the two having a Romeo and Juliet vibe with both fathers being arch rivals of each other, Jimmy is the longest-lasting of the bunch, even though his interest in Tina is inconsistent. While Tina is a romantic he is not, even when he is considered to be together with her. He ranks high as he’s the only one on the list who has been around for more than 2 episodes max, though their relationship often lacks romance.
Bruce the Goose
Obviously one of the best choices for Tina, even matching her love of long necks. Discouraged from not being asked by Jimmy to the prom, Tina finds Bruce and they form a connection. Bruce is an honest, literal goose, who keeps her happy to the point that Tina fantasizes about a future with him. He shows he’s definitely one of the better guys she’s had an interest in until the end of the episode. Bruce is another victim of the one episode fling where Tina’s affection was not meant to be… as he is a goose which is just wrong really. But Bruce came out ahead and found another goose to show his affections to.
The ideal boyfriend because he could never break Tina’s heart. The ghostly Jeff may live in a box and not have much presence, but anyone can tell he’s a good guy. He’s so transparent that he has all the traits anyone could want from him, making him the ideal male model. It’s a shame his relationship with Tina had to end after he ghosted away when Tammy took his home. He is the top pick of all Tina’s boyfriends because it’s tough to actually beat out a guy who can get in your head.
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